When I came home, I thought I was coming home.
I sought peace, but found pressure.
I needed order, but found chaos.
I saw what needed to be done, and I tried to do it.
I couldn’t do it.
I tried so hard to fix it.
I can’t fix it.
When I came home, I needed rest,
Instead I found toil.
I seek rest, but cannot find it.
A Prayer:
Take my fragmented heart, and mend it together, oh gracious God.
Grant rest to a very weary servant.
Grant me wisdom for my path, and peace for my heart, that I might live in your peace all my days.
I would rather be anything and be happy in you than an over stressed person whose wishes were granted.
Help me to find peace. Help me to find you.
To seek you and to seek peace is one and the same.
Blog Posts
God is
a gracious Father,
a prolific author,
of all good things.
A reckless forgiver,
a generous giver,
freedom he brings.
Tender care,
Patient where,
All else fail.
God moves,
And proves,
Grace will prevail.
I have found what I did not expect.
It is wonderful, and a goodness, I feel as I reflect.
Who am I to receive such a blessing?
It must be grace upon grace through grace I am possessing.
The beauty of a like-minded companion, who can sufficiently express?
And to one so undeserving, grace falls to excess.
But isn’t that what grace is? Just exactly what I don’t deserve?
Who can understand this injustice, who can his sanity preserve?
For it is not an evil to reward an evil man?
Yet God has made it a goodness, in his just and righteous plans.
And so I feel it is my lot to accept and receive,
the goodness of his blessings, and in his goodness believe.
I am strong.
I lie.
I need no one.
I cry.
I own my destiny.
But why?
I am self-sufficient.
But will die.
Who can tell me what to be?
I am free.
Who can tell me what to do?
I am true.
Such is the man who to no god is bowed.
His own god he is, alone, and proud.
Have you ever dreamed of being free?
From all the things you do not want to be.
Have you ever locked yourself inside?
To find that in yourself you cannot hide.
I have felt the same.
Have you ever loved and lost the fight?
For the one for whom you’d give your life.
Have you ever been afraid to die?
Feeling like you’ve wasted all your time.
I have felt the same.
Have you ever felt alone amongst a crowd?
While your loneliness screams out loud.
Have you ever felt a crushing guilt?
And wondered if you’d ever feel rebuilt.
I have felt the same.
Have you ever felt anxiety and shame?
And do not even know from where it came.
Have you ever felt like the only one?
Who struggles and perpetually feels undone.
I have felt the same.
If you feel broken, and do not know what to do,
Rest assured, I have felt the same as you.
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